I was there
by 1stRainbowRose
Summary: Jaken has been there since the beginning. He's seen Rin grow up... and has watched the romance grow. Rin x Sesshomaru implied Jaken x Sesshomaru oneshot check out the companion piece Fear


How long had she been traveling with us now? Five years? Six? I wasn't sure, but I knew it was long enough. I had watched her go from being this cute, innocent thing who had watched her parents die to what she was now. I was there when she came back from finding food, and asked about the birds and the bees because she had seen a couple rolling in the hay of a nearby farm. I saw Sesshomaru-sama panic because she started to bleed each time she went to a bathroom, and the stupid Tensagua wasn't fixing it. (Oh the panic of that day! All the mear humans running away from my great lord, and him trying to stop them so they would help her. Who knew using a sword to convince a mediwoman into looking at her would make her think that Rin was kidnapped?)

I also noticed how upset Sesshomaru-sama was when Rin came back from a village one day about a year ago and had a young boy trailing after her. Oh how I was scared for my life that day! Rin wouldn't talk to him for about a month afterwards because she felt he was over reacting by killing the boy. After that we started avoiding all of the villages, and he would send me -- ME, the great demon lord -- after any of the supplies we needed.

I was also aware of the reason that Rin felt he was over reacting. I wasn't so stupid as to not notice that the way she looked at him changed over the years. She went from looking at him as an older friend and protector to something more. I saw how her eyes would linger on his lips when she thought no one was looking, and how she snuggled up to him, claiming to be cold even when it was perfectly warm. But what was more upsetting was the day that Sesshomaru-sama's eyes would strayed as well.

I remember that day very well. It was about a month ago, and we had just set up camp for the night. There was a hot spring nearby, and all of us were looking forward to taking a nice long soak. While I started the fire, Rin set up all of our bedrolls. When she finished she got up and "tripped" right into Sesshomaru-sama's arms. I swore it was the warm of the fire that made his cheeks red, and not where his hands ended up in trying to catch her.

"Why don't you take a bath first Rin? I know you've wanted it the most." He said, standing her up properly.

"But Sesshomaru-sama! You said-" I started to object.

"Silence Jaken." He said, turning his steely gaze at me. "Rin will go first, and you will go collect wood for the fire."

Unlike some people, I never argue with my lord directly, so I did as I was told, muttering to myself about how I was the first to serve my lord, and that it wasn't fair that a stupid human would get these rights. My collecting took me close to the hot springs, and I noticed a figure spying on Rin. Dropping my firewood, I was about to yell a warning to her when I reconized that silloette. Gathering my dropped wood, I hurried back to the camp site, afraid of what Sesshomaru-sama would do if he caught me watching him. He came and sat down a few moments later and sat silently, so I figured I hadn't been caught.

He left to take his own bath when Rin came back, warning either of us from leaving the camp. (I averted my eyes from his own glaring ones. I knew he was telling me not to spy on him again, but after the beating I got the last time I was caught he didn't have to worry about that.)

"Sesshomaru-sama sure is hansome, isn't he?" Rin said, eyes following his path.

"There is no other like him!" I said proudly, sticking the fish we had caught on the wood.

"And I'll bet he looks amazing when he's taking a bath," she continued, eyes dreamy.

"He looks just like a celestial being with his skin sparkling in the moonlight, hair all wet and just begging for you to run your hands through it," I agreed, lost in the memory.

"Neh, Jaken-sama, how long have you known?" She asked me, pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

I glanced at her sharply. "Known what, Rin-chan?"

"That you've loved him," she said into her legs. I froze when I realized what she had said.

"Wha- wha- what are you talking about? I'm indebted to Sesshomaru-sama for saving my life. That's all."

"Come on, Jaken-sama. We all know how you truly feel about him. Why eles would you spy on him while he bathed."

I blushed bright red, but didn't deny it any more. "I think I've always loved him, from the first time I saw him. He was so beautiful, I felt like it would be enough to just be around him, and bask in his beauty. I knew it was pointless to even hope he would ever think of me as anything more than a pitiful demon though." I said with a sigh, turning over the fish.

"I think he care about you a lot. He doesn't show it, but I think he truly does," she replied quietly as she stared into the fire. It was a few more moments before she broke the silence again. "Jaken-sama?"

"What is it Rin?" I asked, wondering about the folarn sound to her voice.

"Does... does he really hate humans that much?"

"Of course he does. Why would he not? They're the reason his father died after all. They're all so below him. Why would he have a need for them?" I replied in a huff. I glanced over at her wondering why she was asking such an obvious question. She had her head burried in her arms, and was shaking. Thinking she was cold, I wrapped her blanket around her shoulders and went back to cooking dinner.

I was there as well when she asked about leaving two weeks later.

"Sesshomaru-sama?"

"What is it Rin?"

"Well, I was thinking I would stay at the next village we come to," She said looking at the ground.

"Why?" My lord asked, not bothering to glance back.

"Well, I'm such a burden for you, always getting in the way of your fighting. And plus, I am nothing more than a human..." She trailed off because we had both noticed how tense he had gotten.

Not turning around to face her he asked, "Are you not happy with me then?"

"Oh no! I'm quite happy with you." She said quickly, running up to where he was standing. "I just thought-"

"You have no reason to go anywhere Rin." He said, voice quiet.

"But-"

"No." He interupted. "I see no reason for you to leave, and that's final." She watched him walk away for a moment, then nodded. Grabbing the reigns of A-un, she followed behind slowly.

I remember how shocked I was. How dare she be so ungrateful! After our lord had taken care of her for so long, and gone to save her so many times, she would dare suggest abandoning him. I understood a bit better that night. I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and heard her crying when I came back.

"I don't understand it," she whimpered to A-un. "I'm just a human. I thought he hated all humans. I thought he'd be happy if I left. Instead he got angry at me."

We both jumped when we heard Sesshomaru-sama speak. "Is there something wrong, Jaken?"

"N-n-n-nothing," I replied. "I just had to go pee." I scampered over to my bedroll, but I caught Rin's grateful glance.

And I saw last night when my lord took her to bed with him.

She had been crying again, I'm not sure of why this time. I woke up when our lord stepped over me.

"Rin?" He asked, kneeling down next to her. She stiffened, and burried her head deeper into A-un's neck. "Rin, what is it?"

"I don't understand Sesshomaru-sama." She replied after a second. "I don't understand why if you hate humans you keep me around."

He didn't say anything in reply, and I was sure that he was upset with her. I was suprised when instead of yelling at her, he scooped her into his arms. Stepping over me again, he set her in his blankets. Laying down next to her, pulled the covers over them both, wrapping his arms around her. Leaning down, he kissed her tenderly. Looking down at her, he smiled and said "Now go to sleep."

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I'm still not sure about that ending point, but meh.

This is something I came up with while watching the series (dang it it good!!! I'm only in the 100's so I'm not sure how it ends. So if Sesshomaru dies (I hope not!) then... I guess this would be an A/U piece. But whatev.) In my defense, I've been watching the subbed version, and in it when Jaken first meets Sesshomaru he acts as though he has a thing for him... thus the reason I did that little love triangle.


End file.
